W e thought people might like a more general overview of a swing party.
Below we have put our take on hosting/attending them and our opinion of them.

What is a swing party?


T o us a swing party is a get together of more than 4 or 5 people with a view to having sex.
This can be a mix of couples and singles and any combination of women and men.

There are two different type of parties that we hear about :

  • Public: This is where the party is advertised, for example on a swinging site, and open to anyone.
    One issue with this type of party is that there is usually no guest list so you don’t know who is going to attend. 
    There is however usually somebody at the door to do last minute checks on people before let they let them in and to eject anyone causing trouble.
    On the positive for these type of parties is that you will meet people you might not normally and might have an fantastic time doing things you wouldn’t normally.
  • Private: These tend to be invite only parties and in our experience you have to meet the host before the event so they can be sure of the couples attending.
    Everyone there is likely to know at least one other couple so the whole event should be comfortable, relaxed and fun for everyone.
    For most parties you will all meet up before hand in a bar/cafe and go to the room together or you just phone the host on arrival and they will come down and meet you and take you up.
    If you get invited to one of these by a new swinger friend, you may find that most of the couples attending play together regularly and the parties are arranged quite frequently.

Our view on swing parties

W e like attending/hosting private parties and have started to prefer those to playing with couples one on one.

We find that between 4 and 7 couples is a nice comfortable number, especially when you know a couple of them already.

One of the main reasons we like parties is that we have found the four way connection required when playing with just one couple is so hard to find.
With parties both of you are likely to find someone fun and suitable to play with, kind of a couples mix and match.

I also like parties as you don’t have to be playing all the time and can take a break and just sit, have a drink and soak up the sexy atmosphere,  maybe even take a pic of two of hubby playing.

Our experiences

W e have never been to a public party although we have been invited to a few, we were just not reassured enough by the host that our boundaries would be respected.

We have however been to several private parties as guests and hosted/co-hosted a couple.


We have co-hosted a hotel swing party with 6 couples including ourselves and hosted a small swing party with three couples, both were fun but the larger one more so.

The first party was the larger co-hosted private party and you can read about that in more detail here. Hotel Party.

The second one was a small house party at our place,  I will post about that in detail, in the future.

We have tried several times to organise parties at the request of travelling couples but we find that they have restrictions on ethnicity/age/body type.

Also there are some instances where you wouldn’t invite a party novice if there are couples that are a little bit more expectant and experienced attending.

This makes it awkward to find suitable couples who are free on the night the travelling couple request so we don’t always manage to get anyone.
In those instances we have had to forget the idea of a party and there has been just the travelling couple and ourselves.

As host it will generally be up to you to move the party to the sexy level once everyone is there.
We have done that by asking the ladies to get changed into lingerie if they brought it.

Another trick is to suggest that everyone has a shower or go in groups of however many can fit in the shower at one time.
It is a good icebreaker and quite good fun.

We have found that if you don’t do this then everyone talks/chats and drinks and nobody makes the first move to move things along.
It can get quite late before you start to play if you don’t make the first move sometimes.

You have to make sure that everyone is okay and boundaries are being respected and keep an eye on anyone that looks like they are drinking too much.

I know as host I also personally felt responsible for everyone’s behaviour towards each other and spent some time making sure everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.


We have attended a couple of parties and enjoyed them both, we haven’t had a bad time at a party where there have been more than 3 couples.
We have however heard from some couples about parties where there were some people attending that were pushy and they have been put off parties because of this.
We have found that those stories tend to come out of public parties rather than private where most people know each other.

At the private parties we have attended there have been a couple or two that we haven’t known at them and this has meant that we have been able to meet and play with new couples while being in our comfort zone.

Hubby has said that he finds it hard to keep an eye on me at parties the way he can if we are playing one on one but as we only go to private parties and know most of the people there it isn’t so much of a problem.

We would love to hear from you.

T ell us about your experiences at parties good and bad.
Have you hosted any and have some hosting tips?
Do you have some tips for being a good guest at a party?