I n this article I describe some of the swinger types that couples most often identify themselves with and also some of the different types of playdates that swinger couples encounter.

Swinging Styles

F irst let’s deal with Swinging Styles, this is a very grey area as every swinger couple will have their own interpretation of the swinging styles and which one(s) they identify with, what we have below is just our view.

You might not feel you fit into any of these categories at all, don’t be afraid to be different.

You should always discuss boundaries and preferences with the other couple before playing, you don’t want to suddenly find yourself faced with handcuffs and a spanking paddle if you aren’t expecting them, so set boundaries first.

Below are the most often seen swinging styles on the swinging websites.

  • Full Swap. This is probably the easiest one to define. Both couples swaps partners, and includes penetrative sex. Other activities like BDSM and anal would have have be discussed and agreed upon before playing.
  • Soft Swap. To me, this is the hardest to define as most soft swap couples have their own interpretation of what that means. Most commonly it means swapping partners and everything is okay except penetration, including oral sex with swap partners and this is our interpretation of this style. Some couples don’t do oral sex with swap partners, but still identify with soft swap play.
  • Touching only. This is kissing only or touching only with no oral or genital penetration at all. Some people class this as soft swap play.
  • Exhibitionism/Voyeurism. The place where lots of swingers start off their journey into the lifestyle. This is where they don’t swap partners at all and just make out and have sex with their own partner while the other couple is doing the same and you can watch each other.

Even if you do identify yourself with one of the styles right now, swinging is fluid, so you might not play the same way with every couple or on every occasion, even with the same couple.

Also there is same room and separate room play with soft swap being more likely to stick to same room play than full swap.
Everyone has their own preference and boundaries , and those might change with time, and as you gain experience you may feel you want to try more things and push your boundaries more.

Play date types

N ow we come to the play date types, there are many but below are the most often referred to on the swinging websites.

  • MFM. Two men and a lady, lucky lady has an extra man to play with as well as her partner, or possibly two men that aren’t her partner. Also as the F is in the centre of the acronym, the lady is the centre of attention in this kind of play and both men play on an equal level with her.
  • Cuckolding.  Again, two men and a lady but the extra man, known as a bull, is invited to play with the lady, he takes on a dominant role while playing with her, this is often in a role play scenario and the lady’s partner is made to watch, sometimes humiliation of the husband is included.
  • FMF. Two ladies and a man, this time it is the man who is lucky as he has two ladies to play with. Sometimes though, if both the ladies are bi he might have to do his fair share of watching the two girls play together (poor lad).
  • Girl only play. Only the girls play together, although there may be two or more couples present including the men who just watch.
  • Parties. More than 4 people with a mix of couples, single females and males. There may also be a mix of full swap, soft swap and voyeurs.
  • Gangbang. Lucky lady just lies back and enjoys the attention of multiple men who are there just to pleasure her, usually in the presence of her partner/husband who may or may not join in.
  • Couple to couple. This is where it is two couples get together for a playdate, with all people intending to participate in the playing.

We would love to hear from you

D o you identify with a play style not listed ?

Did you identify with one play style in the beginning but have since changed ?

Know any play date types not mentioned ?