Interview with Swinger Couple

by | 23 Jan, 2016 | Interviews | 2 comments

Interview with Swinger Couple

I thought we would try something different here so hubby and I asked good friends of ours, who also happen to be swingers, to come round, have a drink or two and answer a few questions about their experiences.

So here we have it, an Interview with Singaporean Swinger Couple.

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So in the text below lady of the couple is D, the gentleman of the couple is R, hubby is H and I am M.
We wanted to do this Interview with Singaporean Swinger Couple as swingers have different experiences depending on their location and we wanted to bring you some insight into Swinging In Singapore.


So how long have you been in the Lifestyle?

D: We started 7-8 years ago.
R: That long ?
D: 2008 wasn’t it ?
H: 7 years ?
R: Probably about 7 years, we’ve been together since ….
D: I was only in this lifestyle after I was with you.
R: Yes, so I only knew you at the end of 2007.
D: We started in 2008 then.
R: Yes around middle of 2008 then.
D: About 7 years then?
R: Yes about that.

 


So you met on one of the lifestyle sites, so once you found each other what made you carry on swinging as a couple?

D: I was more persuaded by him, I wasn’t into swinging.
H: So you joined the site to find a partner then?
D: Yes I joined the site to find a partner, mix around and find a companion.
R: I would say that I had a similar view, my intention in joining the site was to make friends and find somebody I feel comfortable with, who could be a companion.
The site was not new to either of us, and at the end of the day it is a swinging site, so it was I guess a natural progression from being singles to being a couple, providing she was receptive to it.
H: So you asked her then?
R: I would say that she was curious.
D: He had to persuade me and I had to be willing to try.
R: She was very open minded.
D: I was open to it and thought I will try it, why not?

 


So while you have been in the lifestyle have you taken breaks consciously or have there just been any ebbs and flows?

D: Yes we have taken breaks
R: I would say we are on a break even right now, we have really been out of the lifestyle for a couple of years.I think it was that in the beginning we were very, very active say for about the first four years.
H: You said you met hundreds of couples and then you got a bit jaded as most of them were flakes
R: Yes
M: When you say hundreds you just mean for drinks.
R: Yes, hundred plus couples just meeting up, meeting for drinks or dinners.

 


So what percentage of these turned out to be couples that you went on to have further dates and playdates with?

R: About 50%
H: 50% that is good.
D: You have got to try things out.
R: I guess we found that the people were generally half decent and sincere, at least on first impression.
H: But on a lot of sites most of them aren’t real or sincere.
R: I have to say that in a sense we were very lucky in that we didn’t end up in a lot of terrible situations.
H: I remember when we met for the first time and had a drink you were telling us all those horror stories.
D: We do have horror stories but not a lot of them, it’s just interesting conversation as we remember all the really weird experiences
R: You tend to remember all the bad ones as they stand out terribly, but we have had a lot of good experiences. What was a shame about the whole thing is that a lot of the good experiences where one offs, because most of them were visitors from overseas, and so we are not likely to get to meet often.
H: Basically you don’t… It’s the same with us.
D: We don’t find many local couples that are that sincere or receptive.
R: And genuine.
D: Or really ones who
R: Are receptive.
M: Yes why is that ?
D: I think they are just trying out and dipping their toes. In fact on the opposite end, of those that we have met from overseas, some actually became friends and they come back again and again and we visit them and they and visit us.
R: Yes
D: …from different countries. One of them, everytime he comes over on a business trip he gives us a call and says ‘Hey want to meet up.’ and they do that, once you get to know them.
H: Strange that your friends would be foreign couples rather than local couples.
M: We feel the same.
D: They are more receptive.
R: It’s not just receptive they are actually more genuine, they are actually genuine couples in long term relationships or married.
What I have found with a lot of local couples is that we have no idea what their relationship is and half the time we think the guy is trying to pull a fast one.
M: Been there.
R: Or even if they are in a committed relationship, it is one sided, it’s the guy who is trying to push his wife in a certain direction and she has no idea what she is getting into.
M: Yes, yes we have had that.
D: Their relationship didn’t last so after a couple of times he brings along someone else.
M: We haven’t had that but we have had were couple we have met who haven’t been together too long and we see they deactivate their account after 3 or 4 months.
R: The other problem I find is that you get couples who are not really couples. They are couples with respect to the lifestyle.
D: It is just for swinging
R: Yes it is just for swinging, and that doesn’t work out because they are not in a genuine relationship.
H: Yes not in a committed relationship, they could be married to someone else
R: Yes and then there is a lot of deceit on the other side of it, they are married to someone else and there is a lot of deception and lies and we don’t want to get involved in all that.
H: No cheaters.

 


What is your favourite aspect of being in the lifestyle?

D: We get to go out and hang out with different people make some good friends.
R: Yes I would say it’s the friendship, it’s making friends and acquaintances especially with people who are genuine so you know you can develop a sort of friendship, relationship with.
H: I notice with the couples it goes from social to physical and everyone is on a different part of the scale and some couples are just physical, they just want to have sex they don’t want to get to know you.
R: They don’t want to socialise.
H: We are more on the social size.
M: It’s a numbers game to them.
H: We do want to meet them first, have a chat and get to know them.
D: Don’t you find you meet them once and after that they don’t contact you again?
R: You see such people are not genuine swingers because they don’t understand the concept of the lifestyle, they are just out to have sex and this is another avenue.
D: Exchanging sex partners, different sex partners every day.
R: That is not what swinging and the swinging lifestyle is all about.
H: That doesn’t work for us
M: So would that be your least favourite aspect ?
D: I guess after a while I feel jaded it’s like everyone’s the same, we do the same things we talk about the same things and where is the fun in that.
R: There is something more to it.
D: You get to go out so that is different, that is a different aspect of the relationship, this
You find people contact us and want to do something, then when you have done it we go our separate ways and I find it very disappointing in a way.
R: In a way you could say it makes us feel cheap, it’s no different from a one night stand
M: Yes I get that.
D: I feel I am being used.
R: Instead of individuals, using you it is couple using you and having a one night stand, that is what it is.
H: They are just using you to get off.
R: Yes
H: They don’t care about you.

 


What lifestyle sites are you members of? Which is your favourite and why?

R: We are actually members of maybe 2 lifestyle sites, AFF (Adult Friend Finder) and SDC.
As to favourite I think it’s relative, the thing is that we have been on the AFF site from the beginning as that is where we met, whereas SDC was later on.
But SDC is probably a better site because it is more couples rather than AFF which has a lot of singles and fake identities.
R: More genuine couples.
M: There is a lot of white noise on AFF.
R: A lot of white noise
M: Sometimes you think ooh so and so has looked at me or winked at me or whatever but it leads nowhere.
R: Yes

 


What is your favourite ice-breaker for a play date to get things going?

R: What would that be ?
D: Group shower ?
H: You told us about showering with swap partner, we do that now.
M: We have had one group shower where there were 6 of us, and the men were all worried about who was last in.
H: Yes it was a bit crowded.
M: Why have you found that to be a favourite?
D: It is easy to do and everybody gets in on the action there is a bit of everything.
R: It sets the mood in a sense, No 1 is I guess before getting intimate with anyone you want to make sure everyone is clean.
M: So that is what you are doing in the shower, inspecting.
R: It is an essential element of what is involved, I guess it is also the sensuality behind it, also, it gives you the opportunity to be naked in close proximity to your swap partner, it breaks all the barriers.
D: Some people are worried about their bodies, so if everyone is naked at that stage anyway….
R: So you get comfortable with one another.
H: Gets rid of inhibitions.
R: Yes, and it’s a natural thing, taking a shower is a natural process, there is no compulsion or anything like that.
G: And it is fun.
H: It is fun, definitely fun.
M: There is one couple we play with and we always seem to take showers separately, we go in one at a time and come back out.
R: Sometimes it is a matter of practicality, some showers can be small you can only go 2 by 2

 


What sexy things have you tried that you wouldn’t have done had you not been in the lifestyle?

R: Yes group sex.
D: Parties
R: Orgies and
D: Blow jobs one after another
H: Just line up.
D: Different people.
R: What would you call it?
D: Blowjob party.
R: Gangbang also for you D or you wouldn’t have had one.

 


When you were active what would have been your favourite playdate, FFM, MMF, 4some, Gangbang?

R: It would be two couples, I mean another couple and us
D: Two Guys
M: Two Guys MMF?
H: Not so good for R though.
M: He can take the pictures

 


So have you got a sexy bucket list still with things on?

D: Yes,
R: There is no specific list, it goes towards circumstances.
D: I haven’t tried with another lady
R: In terms of experiences do you mean as a couple or…
M: Either as a couple or as individuals.
R: As an individual, I have done most of mine in the past, that is long before.
H: So as a couple then there is nothing you want to do?
R: There are things that pique curiosity.
D: What are you saying?
M: Ooh, I wonder what…
D: There is that hotel in Thailand.
M: Where Pattaya?
H: Have you been to Pattaya yet to that place?
R: No we haven’t been, not to that swingers resort.
M: The Rama Kien has changed hands a few times.
R: I guess a swingers resort or something like that.
D: I don’t know exactly where you are talking about but I wouldn’t mind trying that.
R: Yes that would be something different.
D: Wasn’t there a cruise I heard about.
R: You were the ones that told us about the cruise.
H: Yes last year there was a swingers cruise from Singapore but we haven’t heard about it this year.
R: I don’t know exactly where but I think if the opportunity ever arises I think we would go to a nudist resort.
D: Clothing optional resort.
M: Ah yes Cape D’age,
R: Yes Cape D’age
M: We have heard of it but unfortunately it is 15 hours flight
R: Yes it’s okay if you happen to be in that part of the world, most of them are in that part of the world, France, Europe, Caribbean
H: Yes I like the idea of a swingers cruise, it was only 7 or 8 days, it wasn’t that long.
R: Yes, a swingers resort, a nudist resort is something we would do.
M: Even just hanging out with swingers is good fun, open minded, you can talk about things.
R: For us the closest we have done is Swingers Clubs, we have been to quite a few, in Australia.
D: Yes,
R: There is no specific list, it goes towards circumstances.
D: I haven’t tried with another lady
R: In terms of experiences do you mean as a couple or…
M: Either as a couple or as individuals.
R: As an individual I have done most of mine in the past, that is long before.
H: So as a couple then there is nothing you want to do?
R: There are things that pique curiosity.
D: What are you saying ?
M: I wonder what ?
D: There is that hotel in Thailand.
M: Where Pattaya ?
H: Have you been to Pattaya yet to that place ?
R: No we haven’t been, not to that swingers resort .
M: The Rama Kien has changed hands a few times.
R: I guess a swingers resort or something like that.
D: I don’t know exactly where you are talking about but I wouldn’t mind trying that.
R: Yes that would be something different.
D: Wasn’t there a cruise I heard about.
R: You were the ones that told us about the cruise.
H: Yes last year there was a swingers cruise from Singapore but we haven’t heard about it this year.
R: I don’t know exactly where but I think if the opportunity ever arises I think we would go to a nudist resort.
D: Clothing optional resort.
M: Ah yes Cape D’age,
R: Yes Cape D’age
M: We have heard of it but unfortunately it is 15 hours flight
R: Yes it’s okay if you happen to be in that part of the world, most of them are in that part of the world, France, Europe, Caribbean
H: Yes I like the idea of a swingers cruise, it was only 7 or 8 days, it wasn’t that long.
R: Yes, a swingers resort, a nudist resort is something we would do.
M: Even just hanging out with swingers is good fun, open minded, you can talk about things.
R: For us the closest we have done is Swingers Clubs, we have been to quite a few, in Australia.

 


Is there anything you have tried just because you can because you are in the lifestyle, not because it is something you really wanted to do and really enjoyed it?

D: There are parties that we went to, we wouldn’t have thought of going but because we are in the lifestyle we get invited.
R: Yes orgies, parties things like that, they have a certain thrill to it.
M: Anything that you didn’t think you might like but it turned out that you really did.
R: Yes you could say that because even those house parties which we attended we were a bit intimidated, a bit concerned because there were so many people and all that sort of stuff, but it went quite well because the guys were well behaved, they didn’t try to impose themselves.
M: I imagine if you are a new lady going there you might be a bit of a novelty, especially if it is an established group or clique.
H: If it’s an established group all the guys will be well behaved.
M: Yes but when a new lady walks in everyone wants to..
H: True.
M: We were talking to one couple and she didn’t like parties because they went to one with an established group and she didn’t have a break all night, all the other couples play together regularly and they were the only new couple there
H: She was the new lady.
R: We went to someone’s apartment party..
D: We weren’t the only new couple, there were other new couples.
R: There were, it was like 5 couples, but our couple friend had decided to bring in 10 of his single guy friends.
H: How many ? 10 ….
M: Wow…
R: It turned out quite well.
D: They were concentrating on another lady, we were just watching,
R: Well, the other couple’s ladies wanted a sort of gangbang session but we participated as well.
M: D where you the fluffer ?
D: I was on the sidelines.
M: Why don’t I believe that….. You would have been right there in the centre
H: We don’t really know one single guy, never mind 10.

 


Rules, did you have any when you started?

D: We didn’t have any to begin with so we developed our rules further down the road.
I guess one is if you are not comfortable don’t do it. Second rule is find out what are everybody’s boundaries, how far they want to go.
M: Anything else.
D: We don’t like to play with smokers.
M: We have played with a couple who smoked but they didn’t smoke in front of us, they went into the bathroom.
R: It’s not about them smoking in front of us, if they smoke it will show, you can smell it on them.
D: It’s about the comfort level.
R: For example with showers, showers help to break the ice but they are also for hygiene because we have come across couples we know that are prepared to just jump into bed without actually cleaning up, and we don’t know where they have come from, they can have been exercising, doing whatever, straight from work.
H: Even if you don’t want to shower with your swap partner at least shower on your own.
R: At least shower.
D: Yes because we always look after our own hygiene and we expect the same of others.
R: Obviously with rules, safe sex is a given, well you think it should be.
D: There are always guys that try and persuade you otherwise.
H: Yes, he has just been tested and is clean so doesn’t need to wear a condom.
M: How many people have they slept with since then though and how many people have those people slept with since their last test.

 


Have you got any advice to any couple, to anyone looking to get into the lifestyle?
I know you were very helpful to us when we started, We were very lucky as you where the third couple we met socially and the second couple we played with and you were very kind and helpful to us.

D: I would say to try and read up about it and find out as much as possible before actually doing it so you are mentally prepared. Talk with your partner a lot so that you know where you stand, what to do, have a safe word, if you’re frightened in any way at least you know they have got your back.
R: Foremost the guy is the one probably in communication, so he has to make sure the couple is a genuine and sincere couple, as far as you can, that is why the best thing is to always meet up for a drink, a coffee or whatever, with all parties present. We have had instances where people come up with a million and one excuses as to why their partner couldn’t make it.
It is usually the fellah making the excuse, some ridiculous out of this world excuses.
Thinking beyond and ahead of swinging and all that I suggest that people not have high expectations because you never know how things are going to work out.
H: Go with the flow.
R: Yes let things flow naturally, and if there is any doubt, err on the side of caution.
H: So you socialise with a couple first before you play with them?
R: Yes
D: We try to at least meet them.
R: Yes we have to at least meet them as an introduction. Sometimes with visiting couples you don’t have time to do that, you can’t really say you want to meet them first. Sometimes they are only here overnight so you have got to make a decision.
No matter what though we try to avoid meeting in hotel rooms or anywhere you are going to give the impression you are all ready to play, instead we just meet in a public place and just talk to them. Just talking to them face to face you have an idea of what their intentions are. More importantly you will have an idea, especially in the case of the lady, whether she has any idea of what is going on, what she is getting into and whether she is comfortable about the whole thing.
H: We like to have a group chat before hand, it doesn’t happen a lot of the time, but if you can get that it is great.
M: Yep a 4 way whatsapp.
R: It is not sufficient for you just to communicate by email or phone because you will not be able to tell if they are genuine, sincere or anything like that.
H: When it is one guy talking to another guy you don’t really know whether he is talking to his lady, she may not know what is happening.
R: That is the thing.

OKAY, WELL,  THANK YOU FOR TAKING PART IN THIS INTERVIEW WITH SINGAPOREAN SWINGER COUPLE YOU TWO, IT HAS BEEN GOOD FUN AND LETS CATCH UP AGAIN SOON 🙂


We would love to hear from you in the comments section below

  • Do you have any questions you would like us to ask this, or any future coupe we interview ?
  • Do you want to answer any of the questions we asked yourself ?

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2 Comments

  1. Q73
    Q73 on 7th March, 2016 at 9:00 pm

    Thanks for this article…

    Reply
    • Her
      Her on 7th May, 2017 at 12:56 pm

      What did you like in particular? Just so we know what people like and to fine tune our questions :).
      We are planning to do more in future.

      Reply

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