We thought people might be nervous about their first swinging experience and might be helpful to write about our first time.
- Meeting the couple
- Before the date
- During the play date
- After the date
- Things we learnt from our first play date
Meeting the couple
We had met this couple for a social drink a week or so earlier, we had all chatted over a coffee for a while so we had got to know each other a little.
They are younger than us and of a different race and religion. This is not unusual in the lifestyle, at least for us. You get to meet people you wouldn’t normally meet, this is a plus for us.
We messaged them to say we would like to meet up with them for a playdate in the future.
After a few days of messaging, we agreed on a convenient date for us to meet together for our first playdate.
We also agreed that we would host the play date. At the time, we had a large apartment which was perfect for hosting a playdate. We were both soft swap couples so we clarified that with the other couple to avoid any misunderstanding on the night of the playdate.
Before the date
I n addition to being nervous about our first playdate, we also had to think about hosting. It was our first time hosting a playdate and we had to figure out what we needed to do.
After doing some research we made sure we had enough towels, snacks and water bottles (chilling in the fridge).
We had a number for a pizza delivery place just in case we were all hungry afterwards. That was the hosting part sorted, now we had to get ready ourselves.
As usual deciding what to wear was difficult as I wanted to wear something sexy but not slutty. In the end, I settled for some shorts and a T-Shirt.
I decided not to wear lingerie as it wasn’t a big thing for them.
So after showering and changing we excitedly and nervously awaited their arrival.
During the play date
O nce they arrived we had some drinks, the other couple don’t drink alcohol so we all had tea.
We don’t drink much alcohol before a play date as it impairs our judgement and behaviour. Besides, you want to remember your playdate afterwards. We’ve heard stories about swingers over drinking and throwing up on a playdate.
As usual, with swinger dates, the evening started off with chatting. Swinger couples don’t immediately take off all their clothes and start banging each other! After some sexy talk, mostly about swinger stuff, we were all in the mood for play.
An experienced swinger couple we know suggested the idea of showering with your swap partner. We now suggest this to new couples we play with. For this playdate, we all showered separately as we were a little nervous.
In the bedroom: Our first swinging experience
After this, we were all soon undressed and ready to play. We took our time as we were both inexperienced at swinging and still a little nervous.
We started by warming up with our own partners, this helped us get more in the mood.
Then we swapped partners for a while, this was the bit I really didn’t know how I would react to.
There is no kissing with swap partners with this couple so it was just fondling and kissing on the body and this eventually led to a lot of oral sex.
I looked over at hubby with the lady and expected to feel jealous but to my relief, I didn’t. We were all too busy having fun with our swap partner.
I was on the bed close to the other lady when I was asked about if I was bi-curious. It was easy enough to manoeuvre so both of us ladies could interact with each other.
She has a lovely full figure so it was very enjoyable. We were both receiving oral sex from the men at the time and both of us ladies came during this bit.
We took a quick break to drink some water and chatted for a while.
Then we started playing again with our own partners for a while and then swapped again like before.
After a while, we went back to our partners to finish the play date, a nice way to end the evening.
Lying on the bed
We then lay on the bed chatting for a while, that has become our favourite way to end a playdate.
We mainly talked about lifestyle subjects in general as we hadn’t processed it yet.
I also think we both wanted to discuss in depth with each other first.
We got up and got dressed and saw them out and into a taxi home once they said they had to go.
So that was our first swinging experience.
After the date
O nce we saw them out we settled on the bed with some wine and discussed the date, how we felt and what had happened to each of us during it.
It is hard to keep an eye on your partner when you are busy playing with your swap partner.
Both of us enjoyed our first playdate. The couple we had played with were nice so we wanted to see them again.
I felt a bit strange about what had happened but only in a “wow, that really happened” kind of way. The next morning when I woke up and saw nothing had changed all the strangeness went away.
Lessons from our first playdate
B oth of us had fun on our first playdate.
Whatever feelings I had during or after the playdate go away after you realise nothing has changed.
Let your partner know if you need them. You can’t expect them to be aware what is happening to you all the time.
Jealousy was not going to be a big problem for us. It was a little weird at first watching our spouse have sex with someone else. It passes quickly though.
Finally, just go with the flow, and try not to have too many expectations.
We would love to hear from you
W e would love to hear about your first play date experiences.
Did you have any worries?
If so what worried you the most about it?
Did it go better/worse than expected?
Did you make any special preparations for it?
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Unlike yourselves our first swinging experience was almost our last.
It had taken my wife and I a couple of years from first discussion about it to finally deciding to meet up with someone (a bi guy who said that if everything went well he would be able to involve his girlfriend on later meetings.)
We found him online, one of the many sites you can join to meet people, chatted with him via their messenger before giving him our email address (one we’d created just for this situation) where we had another few conversations via email, messenger, and video chat.
Then we met him in real life, at a pub about half way between our homes. The evening went well, he was polite and enjoyed looking at the large amount of cleavage my wife had on display. We came away convinced he was genuine, so sent a text to say we’d organise a hotel room for our next meet. (Our home was out of the question having two children living there.)
Hotel room booked for about a fortnight later, we’d both chatted to him online in the mean time (and my wife admitted watching him masturbate and flashing herself to him). We got there about 6pm, he was expected about 7pm, and got ourselves comfortable. My wife had brought a couple of her favourite toys, a big vibrator we called Warrior and a smaller one better for clit use, that we put in the bedside drawer. She undressed, showered, and then put on a nice new bra and pants set, jeans and a low cut button up blouse.
I was just about to shower when the phone rang and he was 20 minutes early. After collecting him from reception we opened the bottle of wine he’d brought (remember to take glasses, all we had were two plastic cups from the bathroom and tea cups), he only had a small glass as he was going to drive home later, and I sat them next to each other on the sofa, announced I was going to shower, and left them kissing.
By leaving the bathroom door open I could see via the bathroom and main room mirrors what they were doing as I stripped. I put the water on, turned back to the view to find him cupping her breasts as they kissed and her hand already on his clothed groin. No sooner had I got under the water than he said “Lets give Ian a surprise”, stood up and led her into the bathroom where he pulled aside the shower curtain and went down on me.
And that started the problem.
Not that he was bi, so am I.
Not that my wife wasn’t expecting that, she’d actually been looking forward to seeing two guys together.
But that from that point on my wife became almost non-existent to him, he only touched her when I asked him to, and then only for the briefest moment he could manage.
Let’s get something straight, being ‘in the zone’ at the time we all enjoyed it. It was my first time with another man in front of my wife, and my first time physically with a man for about 5 years. My wife loved watching, and I really enjoyed seeing her masturbating as he and I did things to each other. Both of us guys had two orgasms each, and my wife lost track in the pleasure.
When he went, we said we’d probably meet again soon, we made love and went to sleep.
The next morning, waking and still feeling randy, we did our usual thing of talking about sex whilst touching and caressing, and I said the thing I hadn’t liked was the fact he’d barely touched her, and she said she’d felt the same way.
Post sex, as we chatted we decided that we wouldn’t want another session with him in case it became the same situation.
And because of him it did take us a while to trust another guy to the point of meeting, where luckily he was well open to both of us and gave us a much better impression.
We swung for about 6 years, then the menopause hit and we’ve not swung since, but we do sometimes mention it as a future possibility, and during sex my wife does like the idea of more than just me being there.
Wow thanks for your comment, yes we were really lucky our first experience was with a lovely couple and we are lucky enough to have developed a friendship with them outside the bedroom as well.
I am glad that you and your wife carried on looking and found a more suitable third person for your second try.
MFM with two Bi guys is actually on my Sexy Bucket list for 2015 so I appreciate you giving me the benefit of your experience there.
Well have swung, a long time ago and was fun, exciting, and the anticipation, my wife was very shy, and I hadn’t and she hadn’t had much sexual experiences.
I put a few ads in, and got a few replies until I found the right couple, the wife wanted a professional couple, and to show she could find someone, younger, etc.
We found Mark and Barbie, we had them over for dinner and we got along well and all said yes, except she said it was a bad time of the month for her, but next weekend! So the next Saturday night, we agreed on dinner again, I was anxious, and so was the wife. We had an earlier dinner, and before sunset, started talking more seriously, and they said they didn’t need condoms or like them and my wife also said she was on birthcontrol. Then we kinda were discussing, how, we only had one spare bedroom, and I said flip for it, for in the front room we had a nice pull out couch and fireplace, so I started the fireplace and was all anxious when my wife and Mark headed for our bedroom, as my wife was unbuttoning her clothes, she had said earlier she had wanted him, and his wife was a doll, and better built. Nice.
As I pulled out the bed and got the fire going, oh geez, Mark and my wife Peggy are gone to our bedroom!
We;; I came back to talk to Barbie, and sat on the couch with her, and she was so beautiful, nice, and I didn’t know what to do, but she said lets talk a bit.
She said she comes very easily, by just kissing her and her breasts and neck. Nice, almost couldn’t believe what she was saying! I unbuttoned her blouse, all the way there was her bra, and nice full boobies as I took her blouse nicely geez nice again as I unsnapped her bra. She said try it, and touch her, as I kissed her and her breasts, she shook, quivered a bit, I couldn’t believe how lucky I might be, as I lowered and took her bra and kissed her nipples and breasts again and she shook some more, she said see, but she was very tender and needed a soft touch and kiss, as I played somemore and she quivered some more and more. Nice breasts and they were engorging even more and the nipples were getting erect. oh nice as I helped her pull off her skirt and down to her nice panties and body. I already had a hard on, and she put a hand on my thighs and crotch, oh yes, this might really happen as she gripped me harder. It didn’t take me long to start playing with her crotch, and thighs and kissing her more as she lost all of her clothes. and I got undressed and showed my massive hard on We were shortly, horizontal on the couch bed and in each others arms, and it was still before sunset and the fireplace was going and it was warm, she was warm, oh nice, what a beautiful body and a nice lady as were were kissing more and in each other arms with little hesitation, and we were playing with each others genitials and body. So nice, so easy, as she was stroking me and I was playing with her, she was getting wetter, she told me, hold on, we have all night, to play. Oh geez she has nice breasts and body, oh am I getting so hard as she is litely stroking me and I have some precum to make me slick, and her pussy is getting wet and breasts are getting even more engorged. geez is she bilt and beautiful and nice. I can’t wait to get her, again she said she cumes easily, and is hopping ot have 100 orgasms tonight with me, a 100? Geez I can’t get her that many times even being young and virile, its going to be along night as I start poking at her, and I find her slit and wet pussy, and she shackes and shutters, from the head of my penis being in her wet hot slit and wet pussy, said said again, we have all night gentle, soft, and you can have all you want.
Do you and your wife still swing ?
It is always good to hear people have good first time experiences, it builds a good foundation so if something not so good happens further down the line you can remember that there are always more good experiences in swinging.
You also have this as a platform to explore further from.
My husband and I tried our first experience with a couple. Didn’t go so well. I had no problem with him licking tequila off of her breasts or kissing her. It was when he went to perform oral without looking at me for affirmation that I became jealous. I didn’t feel connected to him at all and really wanted a connection since this was a first time. We went in blind with no rules or guidelines. He has medical issues and I really want him to know he can please another woman other than me. He has let me explore with other men with no rules and just assumed this experience would be the same. I want to try again and he knows he went quickly. I had a hard time watching him tenderly rub someone’s back and I wanted to be sitting in his lap with him rubbing mine instead I was in the corner of the tub with her husband inbetween us. I try to bring up about him and I starting together then expanding but he isn’t quite into that as now I am “controlling” things.