Your first date as a swinger couple
S o I thought I would share our experience of the first date as swingers. Shortly after deciding to try swinging we shortlisted a number of profiles of other swinger couples. It was the other couple that reached out to us first.
Contact
F irst email contact was through our AFF profile. Just a standard “have a look at our profile and let us know if you are interested” message.
Looking at their profile we saw testimonials from other couples and their profile description was a good match for us. Responding to the email we gave our contact details so we could chat using WhatsApp, our preferred messaging app.
Chatting with the other couple
Over the next day or two, we chatted with them a little more just to get to know them better. After deciding we wanted to meet them we suggested a dinner date.
To avoid non-serious couples we found the earlier you discuss meeting the better.
The “fakes and flakes” are not able to meet so you can easily identify them.
Swapping face photos makes it easier to recognise the other couple. This only works if the photos are recent, we have seen photos of couples that look nothing like them.
Confirming the date
Checking our calendar we found a date for the meetup. It can be difficult to find a suitable date sometimes, especially for busy people. Luckily it was only the following weekend so little chance for cold feet.
After clarifying it would just be a social meet up we confirmed the date of the meeting. We prefer to meet first for drinks and a chat. Arranging a playdate in the future if the dinner date goes well.
For local couples first meeting up for drinks is something we always do. Of course, this doesn’t work for travelling couples who may only be in your area for a day or two. For travelling couples, we are ready to play after we have met them.
Just make sure you set the expectations of the couple you are meeting.
We have had couples try to persuade us to meet in a hotel room even when they are local. We always say no to that and that policy has worked well for us so far.
Arranging the date
S uccessfully planning our first swinger date had us both excited. I then had to decide what to wear.
To me, this was the most worrying thing, I wanted to look sexy, nice and still be comfortable.
“What do swingers wear on dinner dates?” went around in my mind for the few days running up to our date. Turns out whatever you would normally wear for a nice evening out would be good.
I constantly changed my mind and eventually settled on a nice dress with a pair of heels, hubby wore a nice shirt and pants.
Why do men get away with not worrying about what to wear, as long as they are wearing a nice shirt and pants they are fine……
The day of our first swinger date arrived and I was so nervous and excited that I started getting ready 2 hours before the date.
Shower, hair, makeup and thirty checks in the mirror. It was nice having that buzz again of getting dressed up to meet someone.
Finally, I put my outfit on then I was ready, hubby was ready in minutes as usual.
The Date
O n the way to our date we wondered what the couple would be like and if we would like them.
What is the correct behaviour? Should we be flirty or save that for the play date? Should we sit next to each other or opposite?
We also discussed what we would do if we really didn’t like them and wanted to leave. We decided on a code phrase which meant “I want to go now”.
At the venue
Arriving at the place we couldn’t see the other couple so we texted them go let them know we had arrived.
Walking up to us, the guy introduced himself and we made our way to their table. As an experienced swinger couple, they put us at our ease quickly.
He was good looking, laid back, fairly chatty and a little older than us. He was dressed casually, wearing a shirt, Bermuda shorts and sandals. During the evening he was flirty with me and we got on well together.
She was very nice looking but less relaxed and chatty, didn’t really flirt with hubby but she was still very nice. She was roughly our age and was wearing a smart dress so I was glad that I had made an effort.
After ordering food we talked about hobbies and travel, luckily the man and I had a shared hobby so we spent time talking about that.
We chatted for a while after ordering some more drinks and then it was time to leave. The evening had gone quickly.
Swinging was not mentiomed although we now always try and bring the subject up. Just to ensure everyone is aware it’s a swinger date (see: If you want to get your wife to swing, don’t surprise her).
Walking to where we would travel back home we gave each other a hug. After saying goodbye he gave me a quick kiss, it felt weird to be kissing another man with my husband there but it fitted with the flirty conversation I had going with him.
After the date
T ravelling home we talked about how the date went. You can’t always tell if the other couple likes you, it depends on the couple. That’s why we like to follow up with a text message thanking the other couple for meeting us and letting them know we had a good time. We only send a text message if the meeting goes well.
The next morning we had an email from them saying they had enjoyed themselves and would like to arrange a play date with us.
Thoughts about our first swinger date
- Dinner dates are low pressure, no-one is going to jump on you
- Flirting during the date is fun (just check your spouse is okay with this)
- Delays can be inevitable so it’s a good idea to have a contact number
- Don’t be afraid to be the first to make contact afterwards. If you liked the couple let them know
- Just have fun on the swinger date and be yourself
Your Feedback
W hat was your first swinger date experience?
How did you get the first date arranged?
Were you worried? If so what worried you the most about it?
Did it go better/worse than expected?
Did you make any special preparations for it?
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