I have noticed a few forum posts on the Adult Dating Sites that indicate there are a lot of couples out there in the swinging lifestyle that have body image issues.
Here we have a look at what affects body confidence in swinging, mainly from a women’s perspective, and does swinging help increase or lower their confidence.

Wikapedia’s definition of Body Image :

Body image is a person’s feelings of the aesthetics or sexual attractiveness of their own body, which may be forced onto them by others or social media.

Even in the lifestyle, there are external influences that affect a ladies body confidence

Below are a  few  I have come across that I feel have an affect on a ladies body image.

Aspects that will affect body confidence positively

  • Positive reactions:  One of the plus points I mentioned about swinging in my swinging pros and cons post was that so many people, not just your spouse/partner,  will make you feel, or tell you, that you are desirable and sexy.
    The more you hear and feel this, the more you will believe in yourself and you will act and feel even sexier.
  • Meeting other swingers:  When you start meeting couples you will see that everyone is different, and swingers come in all shapes and sizes, this should stop you worrying about how you measure up and allow you to just enjoy your self.
  • Positive profile feedback:  When you put your photos onto your profile and they get liked or commented on it can’t help but boost your moral and give you a positive feeling about yourself.

woman with measuring tape over her mouth
Aspects that will affect body confidence negatively

  • Media: Even restricting this to the media seen inside the adult dating sites, there are a lot of pictures of really thin, pretty, young women in lingerie.
    Someone who is different (older/larger/shorter) to the ladies seen in these pictures could get the impression that swingers are all thin and young athletic couples and might worry they will face rejection.
  • Profile text: We have found that some couples state on their profile that they only want to play with people that look after themselves.
    I have even read one profile stating the reason for this as because they ‘feel we look after ourselves so why would we play with couples who don’t’.
    Put as bluntly as that these people are going to loose on meeting a lot of lovely couples who do look after themselves but don’t want to take the chance on rejection.

Who have I found to have the most body confidence

Contrary to what I imagined when I first started in the lifestyle,  I have found that the older ladies have more body confidence than the younger ones,  they tend to be more comfortable with themselves and know what they bring to the bedroom.

As I am an older lady and we tend to play with couples where the  lady would be near our age, I haven’t really come across many ladies who seem to be shy, but one younger lady in particular does tend to dive under the bedclothes shortly after getting naked and the first time we played asked about having the lights out.

It is a shame she feels that way as she is a gorgeous lady with great curves and has no reason to hide or be shy.

Also, I have found bi-sexual/bi-friendly ladies tend to be more body confident. 
I feel that is partly because they see/touch/kiss a larger range of ladies and get much closer up than straight woman do, so it is quickly reinforced that everyone is different.

I have also found that contrary to what I had imagined, once naked, the larger older women we have played with have as much body confidence as the slimmer ones.
The only time I have noticed shyness with them is if they feel they will be expected to wear lingerie.

We have played with ladies of all different kinds of body types,  and two of the sexiest women, to me anyway, have very different body types.
One is quite short with great curves and the other is tall and slim, what they have in common is that they both have the confidence to pull off sexy in their own ways.


As the Wikipedia definition says body image can be forced onto people by outside influences such as media, however overall, swinging should have a positive affect on a lady’s self-confidence.

The constant positive reinforcement from comments on profile pics and from play mates will definitely give confidence a boost as for women being desired is a great confidence builder.

Also in the lifestyle personality is much more important than looks, you can have a 10 out of 10 body, but if you come off as arrogant and/or boring you won’t get to play with many couples.

I personally prefer to meet a larger couple where both ooze sexy confidence, can hold a conversation and are nice, friendly and chatty than an athletic couple who are aloof,  not easy to talk to and are obsessed with themselves.

It is very rare that both parties of one couple find both parties of the other couple physically irresistible, that is just human nature and normal.

If you are a little overweight and worried, get comfortable with yourself, and know that you bring your own unique bit of magic into the bedroom.

standing on a scale

Being in the lifestyle may be a good motivator to shape up a little but you can still enjoy yourself while you are doing that.

We would love to hear your comments on body image issues in swinging.

  • Do you find some ladies in the lifestyle worry too much about their size?.
  • you find a particular demographic not mentioned tend to have body image issues?
  • you had body image issues you have overcome ? Did you find swinging helped you ?
  • we missed anything that you feel has a positive or negative effect on Body Image in the lifestyle ?