T here are many women in the swinging lifestyle that identify with being bi-sexual or bi-curious.

This post discusses why sometimes the women aren’t as keen to play with the ladies as their profile would lead you to believe.

The four main definitions that women in male/female couples use to describe their sexuality in the swinging lifestyle


No girl/girl play at all, not even cross touching or boob play. She only plays with men.


Means that the lady is fine with a bit of cross touching and playing with boobs/bums but probably not go as far as fingering or kissing.

She probably wouldn’t start any girl/girl either and might not respond to being touched by other women.


Means that she wants to explore the aspects of bi-sexual play between women but isn’t sure if she will like it.

She might also identify with this if she isn’t experienced but feels like she would enjoy girl/girl play.

She might start some of the action, and she will go respond to and enjoy other women’s approaches.

Bi-Sexual (yay!)


Means that she loves to play with both men and women equally.

So why does it seem that a lot of women in the lifestyle identify with bi-sexual or bi-curious?


I n my opinion the swinging lifestyle is a good choice for anyone to test the water on a variety of sexual desires.
A woman in the lifestyle might see this as an opportunity to see if she actually enjoys playing with women. Starting off identifying as bi-curious and then realising she is bi-sexual.
People in the lifestyle tend to be relaxed about bi-sexual women (men is a different matter). A woman in the lifestyle might see this as an ideal chance to experiment.
I have heard, from some of the bisexual women, that their bisexuality was the driving force behind them starting out in the swinging lifestyle.


So when it comes down to a play date where are all the bisexual and bicurious women then?

L ooking at all the adult dating sites for swingers a lot of the women appear to be either bi-curious or bi-sexual.
However, it is a common complaint from the bisexual women I have played with, that a lot of women who state bi-sexual or bi-curious on their profile just aren’t interested in playing with them when it gets to playing in the bedroom.

I see that as possibly happening for a few reasons:

Wishful thinking by the hubby

If the man is managing the couples profile he might think she is bi-sexual or bi-curious for several reasons:

  • Stating his wife is bi-curious will get them more interest
  • He could be hoping his wife has bi-sexual tendencies. He thinks, if his wife is approached by a bisexual lady, she will respond and find it fun so she will identify as being bi-curious or bi-sexual.

Other times she is bi-sexual but…

  • May not be attracted to the other woman, a bi-sexual woman doesn’t have to play <b>with every woman</b> to prove her bi credentials.
  • She finds the guy in the other couple so hot that she just wants to spend time playing with him.
  • One of the men is sending signals that he wants to join in. She may be bi but it can’t easily evolve into a 4 way.
  • She misses the cue that the other lady is interested. Men and women flirt in different ways.
    An obvious come on to a bi-sexual woman may be taken to be a flirty act to a bi-curious woman. Women are very good at understanding signals from men but reading another woman’s intentions is not so obvious.

I have been in a couple of the above situations and not ended up playing with the lady in the other couple.
On those occasions though I have made a note that next time if the other lady wants to play we can have our fun first before the men.twosexyladiesdrinking

My experiences of bi-sexual women in the lifestyle

I will tell more about my experiences with bisexuality in the swinging lifestyle in another post, but personally, I have played with only a few truly bisexual women and they have all said they are bisexual on their profile.

I have found, when meeting couples, bi-sexual women will bring it up in the conversation and ask if you are.
It goes the other way as well and if the woman is straight and knows you are bisexual I have found she will let you know and state if she is happy to interact a little or not at all.
From my experience, there are very few women who aren’t okay with any kind of girl/girl play during a play date even cross touching and playing with each other’s boobs and bum while mainly interacting with the men.


This is a good reason to meet up first for drinks as then there is no confusion and everyone can set expectations.

I have also found that if the other woman is bisexual I have not had to make the first move.
She generally leaves it in no doubt and there has never been any confusion.
Bisexual women will take things a lot further during a play date than a woman who is just bi-curious as well so I do tend to let the other woman lead.

We would love to hear from you

D o you agree that many couple’s profiles have the lady down as bicurious or bisexual but they don’t seem to be.
Are you a bi-sexual or bi-curious woman? If so what are your experiences of being a bisexual woman in the lifestyle?

Whether you are bi-sexual or not what have your experiences of bi-sexual women in the lifestyle been?

Did you discover your bi-sexual side through being in the lifestyle?
Was bisexuality a driving factor of being in the lifestyle?